10/30: Shalloween (2002 article)

Webmaster’s Note: In my early career, I worked in broadcast radio, and for a newspaper. I used to write short “musings” about various topics. I recently found one I wrote about five years after I moved to Iowa and learned about “Beggar’s Night.”


Date: November 13, 2002 5:52:45 PM CST
Subject: Musing 10/30: Shalloween

Halloween isn’t what is used to be. At least, not to me. You see, I used to live for that special time of year when my makeup and special effects lighting could be put to good use. I’d often say I would gladly give up one of the two gift getting holidays for an extra Halloween—I liked it that much. Imagine my displeasure when I moved to Iowa in 1995 and discovered that Halloween didn’t exist here.

That’s right. It didn’t exist. Well, obviously October 31st had not been legislatively removed from Iowa calendars, but the actual celebration of the wonderfully fun event known as Halloween was nowhere to be seen. At least not in the capital city of Des Moines.

A long time friend of mine, Joel, clued me in. He’d recently moved to Iowa from Illinois and he had already discovered that an event called “Beggar’s Night” had replaced our favorite holiday. Beggar’s Night (assuming it is supposed to be possessive) was celebrated on October 30th. Children would dress up in costumes and go door to door and collect candy. That certainly sounds like Halloween to me. However, on the actual night of Halloween there were no trick or treaters to be found, though there was a rather large amount of adult Halloween parties at various clubs and similar establishments.

What’s the deal? After I asked various Iowa locals, I found an answer. Halloween, they told me, was moved a day earlier for the children in order to allow the adults to party on the 31st and not drive home drunk and run over the kids. Nonsense, I thought. How could a state (city?) change the date of a holiday? Well, adults do run legislation so perhaps it was true.

So October 30th arrived and I dressed up and went into town to get a coffee at a place that, amazingly enough, served only coffees. (I’d never seen a coffee shop before. In 1995, the trend was still new.) What a fabulous bonus! I got to dress up a day earlier than normal. Maybe it wasn’t all that bad.

Along the way I saw various children going door to door dressed as cross country skiiers. It was snowing, you see, which was yet another thing wrong with Hallow… er, Beggar’s Night in Iowa. I’ve heard of a White Christmas, and was eager to see one in person that year, but never a white Halloween… And so the evening quickly passed as lovely snow drifted down on top of roaming ghouls and goblins.

On the next night, the adults partied.

Is this a true story? You bet. Was Halloween actually relocated to prevent adults from running over children in a drunken stupor after the annual work Halloween gathering? Today, after all, it’s much more trendy to blame the Pagans. But I don’t. For, you see, Des Moines also outlawed Ice Cream trucks. You know the type. They drive up and down neighborhood streets ringing bells, and children try to chase them down to buy a fudgebomb.

Why are there no ice cream trucks, you ask? And what do they have to do with this tale?

A long ago, you see, a young girl was chasing an ice cream truck and was hit and killed by a car. A ban on street vending went into place soon after to protect the youth of Des Moines.

So now you know. Beggars Night in Des Moines helps protect the children. It’s just not protecting them from the Pagans and Wiccans as the trendy news media would like you to believe.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Unless, of course, you are a child in Des Moines. In which case, I hope you had a great Beggar’s Night yesterday. I know I did.

Now … does anyone know where I can buy a fudgebomb?

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